So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
