Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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