AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
