After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
