Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Two words: blizzard sex
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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