Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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