im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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