Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
