ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
