You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
