I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
