There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Randomize
