dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
