i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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