4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize