Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
