Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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