chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize