You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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