Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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