First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
