My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
