I'm really into asian looking animals
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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