Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
