I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize