This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize