I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
