They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
