Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I cockslap morals
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
