its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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