Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
