It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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