okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
