I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
