apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
