Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
