Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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