Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
