last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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