mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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