Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
