how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
How drunk are you?
Completed.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
