I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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