My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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