i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Success! We fucked roommates!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
