We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Everything about him screamed your future.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
