I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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