I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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