brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
