i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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