erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Randomize
