so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
