No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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