He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
