so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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