Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think I died a long time ago.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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