I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize