I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
