I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize